Are You Too Cautious?


Are you too cautious in relationships?

How a Forum Can Be a Lifeline in Times of Trouble


Apart from the support I get from my church family I continue to be a member of an online forum which gives brilliant support to men and women, day in, day out, year upon year.

Benq laptop

Benq laptop (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The wisdom one finds among these members is phenomenal. People give freely of their time to help others. I’ve been a member of this forum since 2011 and I don’t know what I would have done without it. I know others feel the same. I’ve even read of people going to bed with there laptops with the forum pages open. This was because the forum was such a lifeline at a time when people were going through possibly the hardest time in their lives. It is as though the forum members are there, walking you through the horrendous time.

This is not Christian forum, although there are a number of Christians among its members. Everyone on the forum is anonymous which means you can be pretty free with your thoughts, troubles and questions. Of course, one should never give too much detail away as this might identify you to someone who could stumble across your posts.

For anyone struggling with any issue, circumstance or who is just questioning, I strongly recommend membership of a well-run, carefully moderated, supportive online forum.

The Lights Are On But Nobody’s Home

I’ve spent the last few months with a new male friend. It’s platonic. And he’s not a Christian. I’m really glad that I’ve stuck to my guns, and my increasingly-honed Christian principles, and not got involved on a physical basis whatsoever. Nada.
I truly see that choosing to be celibate in a great way to bolster your self-esteem and it protects you from people who are potentially harmful.
I did try and envisage myself with this guy in a ‘more than friends’ scenario and I was aware of my own defences and barriers. I decided to give it some time – but it is not going to happen.
From the beginning I have had alarm bells but we have such a nice time when we go out that it’s been hard to refuse his company. However, I’ve realised that while we connect brilliantly mentally, emotionally he is just not ‘there’. It is like the lights are on but no-one’s home.
On the surface he is charming, cultured and very nice. But I can’t talk about anything negative/admit real vulnerability about my feelings or life. It is a false intimacy we have. When I do he ignores it or says something platitudinous. I don’t think he is truly interested in me – more in what I could do for him in ending his loneliness and single state.
There is just this strong feeling in me that all is not right. The question is what to do about it?