Kindness of Friends Brings Startling Revelation

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Had a wonderful time with friends this weekend.  One of them, P, I have known for 31 years and his partner, J, I’ve known 25 years! We went to a very posh hotel and they treated me to dinner!

They treated me brilliantly, with such care and attention,  making sure I was comfortable etc. It certainly made me realise how little my former husband valued me but, more importantly, shone a light on how poorly I valued myself. I must hold myself with little regard to have put up with much that I did. (I was no saint either, I may add.)

I have been overwhelmed with how kind people have been since I moved house. Many  of them have given me presents, for example, totally unexpectedly. S, for example, cooks for me! I don’t ask her to – she just occasionally hands me something for the freezer. 

It has to be said that old friends really do make me feel happy and secure.  There is something very powerful about having a shared history.  Also, the fact that P knew me before I became ill is very healing because his memories of me are not just of “the sick, fragile one” nut as the energetic one who was leading a fairly normal life.

 

Getting to Know ‘Joy’ Again

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I am still pacing well as I continue to plough through the longest muscle relapse I’ve never had in my chronic illness.  It is quite hard but it is a relief to get off the hamster wheel that I seem to have been on for the last few years.  Surprisingly, I have had quite a lot of visitors one way or the other.  This has been a huge help.

I went for a massage at a luxurious hotel yesterday and that was amazing. When we are bereaved or divorced it is quite important, I think, to receive caring and supportive touch.  I think it is something I’m going to do again.

I am also using a meditation and mindfulness CDs of Jon Kabat-Zinn, developed for the University of Massachusetts.  They are wonderful.  Each session lasts around 40 minutes and his voice is incredibly soothing and unpretentious.

Recommended.

Spiritual and Practical Approaches to Adrenal Fatigue

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Shannon TaggartFrom an article by Dr Christine Northrup

Spiritual and Holistic Options

A far better option for healing adrenal fatigue over the long run is to restore adrenal health and function so your adrenals can eventually produce the hormones you need on their own. That will require making changes in the lifestyle that caused the adrenal insufficiency. Here are some suggestions:

  • Focus more on loving thoughts. Thoughts that bring you pleasure (like thinking about people you love, favorite pets, a delicious meal, or even a sweet memory) short-circuit the harm done by the body’s physiological reaction to stress. This learning to “think with your heart” may be challenging at first, but it’s definitely worth it. If you faithfully learn this and regularly pay attention to areas of your life that bring you joy and fulfillment, you will evoke biochemical changes in your body over time that will recharge your adrenal batteries. (For assistance, I recommend the training programs and books from The Institute of HeartMath.)
  • In addition, do more things that bring you pleasure and make you laugh and fewer activities that feel like obligations. Spend more time with people who make you feel good and less time with people who are draining.
  • Dwell more on what you like about yourself and less on what you see as your limitations. In short, have more fun! Make pleasure a priority instead of a luxury.
  • Allow yourself to accept nurturing and affection. If you didn’t learn how to do this as a child, you may need to practice it. Every morning before you get up, spend a minute or two reveling in a memory of a time you felt loved. Do the same at night. Imagine your heart being filled with this love. Use affirmations that help you feel deserving of this nurturing and love.
  • Follow a healthy, whole foods diet with minimal sugar and adequate protein. (Every meal or snack should contain some protein.) Avoid caffeine because it whips your adrenals into a frenzy. Also avoid fasting or cleansing regimens because they can weaken you further.
  • Take a comprehensive multivitamin/mineral supplement.
  • Try herbal support, including:
    – Licorice root: This herb contains plant hormones that mimic the effects of cortisol. Start with a small amount and gradually work up to one-quarter teaspoon solid licorice root extract three times per day. Baschetti2 Make sure to monitor blood pressure, as licorice may increase blood pressure in susceptible individuals.
    – Siberian ginseng: One of the components of Siberian ginseng is related to a precursor for DHEA and cortisol. Try one 100 mg capsule two times a day. It can have a stimulating effect, though, so if it interferes with your sleep, take it before three p.m.
  • Get plenty of sleep: Sleep is the most effective approach to high adrenaline levels. Many women require eight to ten hours of sleep to function optimally. Try to go to bed by ten P.M. Getting to sleep on the earlier side of midnight is much more restorative to your adrenals than sleep that begins later in the night, even if you sleep late the next morning to get in your full amount of sleep.
  • Exercise regularly. Regular light-to-moderate exercise is helpful, but not so much that you feel depleted afterward. Pushing yourself beyond your limits weakens your adrenals even further, so start slowly—even if it’s only walking down your street and back. Then build up slowly.
  • Get more exposure to natural sunlight. This is not only good for your adrenal glands, but it boosts vitamin D, as well. Sunbathe only in the early morning or later afternoon, however, never in midday; and never get enough exposure to burn or even redden your skin. Work up to ten to fifteen minutes of exposure three to four times per week.
  • Prioritize. Make a list of your most important activities and commitments, and then let everything else go. Don’t agree to a new task or commitment unless it’s something that will recharge your batteries.

– See more at: http://www.drnorthrup.com/adrenal-exhaustion/#sthash.xNcKaxvS.dpuf

A Fire Burns Tonight, Lent, Day 17.

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_65108948_peterfarrellHad an evening at a friend’s house with some of her friends. Well, actually, it is the house of her parents, a farm estate that’s been in her family for 200 years. She’s living back at home and what a very lovely home it is! The new things were that I met two of her friends who I’d never seen before.

I felt out of place, even quite shy, to start with as they are all about 10 years younger than me and have known each other years but I tried not to let that hinder me. Most of them are Christians, but not all, and they tend to belong to looser, more liberal churches than the one I go to (which is too fundamental for me but I love the place and the people and the pastors).

I really enjoyed the evening and ate my own body weight in Pringles, dips and spaghetti bolognese and loved the large, blazing woodburner.

Day 8, Lent Art

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Today’s NEW thing in my Lent Challenge: I went to an art gallery in a small town near to my birthplace. This is somewhere I’ve been meaning to visit for a while. Had a good chat with the proprietor, a NEW person. Bought an art card by an artist that was NEW to me.

I also went to another art gallery across the road which was also NEW to me.

Day 6, Lent Continues

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As I am away from home I had to go to a new pet shop as opposed to the little, independent shop I usually go to. Encountered some ghastly people outside the shop who were rude and quite scary to me. Reminded me why my friends and I chose to get out of this place as soon as we could – to universities and different lives. Mmm. Was a reality check.

Mum and I had a different type of curry this evening. A mild, creamy affair instead of our usual Rogan Josh-type curry.  Hold the front page: we decided we preferred the latter. I know, the excitement continues!

As I have not been very well today my experimentation with new things has been modest. Let’s hope and pray for better things to come!

Day 3, Lent for Love

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Life-enhancing activities for today (have to be new things):

  1. Listened to my hero David Bowie singing title track from Buddha of Suburbia. Not on of his best but okay.
  2. Listened to Pearl Jam singing ‘Jeremy’. Never heard it before!
  3. Listened to Pitbull. Switched it off halfway through!
  4. Planted new primula plant in large planter outside.

 

Moving Towards Life for Lent

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A Christian who lives on my street, asked me what I was giving up for Lent.

As I have a restricted life – no chocolate, no alcohol, no drugs, no gooey cakes, no eggs (allergic!) and am celibate – I thought that during Lent that I would instead go towards life rather than away from it. Giving up more things is going to worsen my already on and off joylessness.

And after all, the end of Lent is Easter, a time of renewal and resurrection. New life.

Therefore I shall be trying one new thing a day. At least one thing. It may only be a small thing – talking to a new person, buying a new food, reading a new book – but as long as it’s new and life affirming that qualifies. I guess that the sacrifice of shunning a pleasure is a small way of showing gratitude for Christ’s sacrifice.

PIC: New view towards North Yorkshire.