It’s no secret that it has taken me longer to get over my marriage breakdown than it has for some other people.
This time, the season, is the first time in 30 years that I have not seen Ex regularly. We co-parented our dog for six or seven years after The Separation and she died at Christmas 2016. Although we have been in touch a little bit by text and email we have not seen each other. I think this is a good thing. They say that no contact (NC) is the way forward.
I was talking to my mother about this the other day. I said, “Ex is the person that I have been closest to in the whole of my life.” Now this may have been a little hurtful for my mother to hear but it is true.
We are meant to separate from our parents. When we marry we expect to travel through the decades with our spouse. Also, there is the sexual connection which binds us to our spouse; something that, hopefully, we do not share with our parents.
It seems strange but it was only this realisation that my ex is the person that I have been closest to in my whole life that made me realise why it has taken me such a long time to get over him and the marriage. I don’t think I necessarily miss him as much as being married, though I am not entirely sure that I would choose to remarry. The thought of never being in love or being loved again in return, however, during my remaining life is pretty grim!