Heartbreak Hotel, Still.


ijust had to go and meet my ex as i am having a relapse, nasty, and needed to hand our shared care duty over to him. He came down from Scotland specially.

I am wobbly physically and emotionally and I didn’t realise that letting go of the former marital home would knock me out. Another level of loss.

I can hardly look at my ex. Not through hatred but through love lost.

It’s been years now but the losses continue. Never, never would I have chosen to separate , even with all the rubbish we doled out to each other. And there was a lot of crap. But I would never have walked away. I am incredibly sad. He’s remarried and seemingly happy. Me, I am left dealing with the aftermath even now. Sometimes feel I will never get over this. It’s like a boulder I carry around with me.

Hopefully, celebrate recovery will help me move on. He doesn’t know any of this and I can’t tell him. It wouldn’t be fair. I don’t love him. I just miss him all the time. I can’t talk to my friends about this cos they just want you to move on. Understandable.