The One Whom My Soul Loves – In Pursuit of Woman

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Pursuit of Equality

Pursuit of Equality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Despite the fact I believe I am unmarriageable I have not been without male interest, even in my ‘celibate by choice’ life. Most of these men are not Christians but they are good men.

There’s SAL, who lives far away and is not safe emotionally but who seems to be fond of me. MAGS, who is the nearest I have to a soulmate, but who is not emotionally available and who does not want a relationship with me – and I probably don’t want one with him. WM seems to adore me but I am unsure about him for various reasons. Even SRP has been attracted to me at points, I believe, but he is unsafe. And TCG seems to like me too. Only WM has actively pursued me over many months.

Despite all this I feel I have not yet met “the one whom my soul loves.” Do you think I will know it when I do meet him or are we blinded by our own hang-ups, fears and prejudices?

Cut Those Who Do You Harm

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Harm Done

Harm Done (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am on a  mission to detox from those people, no matter how nice they seem to be on the surface, who are doing me harm in some way or who are disrespecting me.

It’s tough, cos we all need friends, but I know that I need to do this for my own self-esteem. There were two people today who I realised just don’t really listen to me when I am talking to them. Gee, thanks, dudes.. and dudettes.

You’re GONE!

Do I Have to Marry a Christian?

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I went to a Christian wedding today. Very posh, very long, lots of beauty abounding, in the heart of rural England. More on weddings later.

If I were to remarry, and I think the likelihood of this is around 4%, would I have to marry aChristian only? Most Christian writers say, “Yes”. This is explored in How to Get a Date Worth Keeping (book). Obviously, it would make life a lot easier all round if a future spouse was a Christian. It just would. You are starting off on the same page, with similar values, not to mention how much easier it it would make managing your social lives (esp when you are ill and have to parcel out your energy expenditure anyway).

But the chances of me finding someone suitable who is also a Christian are frankly very slim. I’m being realistic here. I am a) a woman b)oolder c) chronically ill d) not exactly putting myself out there.

My challenge, then, is to work out if I can be happy as a single, permanently, or if I can face the odeal of seeking a partner, in the future, or if I should ‘settle’.

What M.E?

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Not Mid Morning Matters

In the last few weeks I have seen the best and the worst of what we are capable of. The worst was on a beach in Tunisia and those who died at the trigger of an Islamic Extremist gunman. This is only the beginning of this story from the country that seeded the Arab Spring. Tunisia and Europe will struggle to come to terms with the consequences of summer of 2015 and the biggest problems may have already begun. Any country that relies on tourists spending money for a significant part of its GPD is going to hurt as this cash tap is turned off. The financial pain that Tunisia will feel will be very easily harnessed by those who have no desire to encourage the West back with their flabby white bodies to its turquoise seas and sandy beaches. Maybe this is part of the terrorist plan? As ever…

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‘I Will Worship’ Song Sends Shivers Down Spine

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This song, ‘I Will Worship’, is one we sing at church. It really sends shivers down the spine as the men and women alternate each line in parts. I must admit, this version on YouTube, sounds a little sappy. When we sing it it’s with more gusto! At least, that’s how it sounds to me.

Baptism is Like a Wedding Ring

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English: The photographer's wedding ring and i...

English: The photographer’s wedding ring and its heart-shaped shadow in a dictionary. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And the pastor said: “It’s all about allegiance to Christ.
Baptism is like a wedding ring. It’s the outward reality of an inner experience. If you feel that you are a Christian it is a natural progression. It is serious and you should do it if you’re convinced, not under pressure. Did that help?”

Yeah, it did.

Baptism of Fire

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King Guthorm is baptised.

King Guthorm is baptised. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a query about baptism – adult baptism – and approached one of the pastors. I wrote:

“Okay,” I said, “these baptism services – is one baptised as a Christian or as a member of [our church denomination]?

I don’t have any problem with our church denomination and read the handbook quite regularly – but I’m not sure about standing up in front of the people at our church and declaring myself – at this moment anyway. Also I see getting baptised as serious as getting married. I want to be sure I am in this for the long haul before doing it. (and to do it for me and God not to please the pastor or impress my church friends, y’know.) I’ve been through such a lot of changes these last few years I want to know I am on solid ground before I do much these days!

There are things I encounter at our church that make me want to throw up my hands in a sort of laughing frustration. I could tell you some of these things (maybe I will some time) but for now, the question is ‘Who am I obeying?’ when I am baptised with our church – God or people?”

Read the next post for the answer I received.

The gallery is open!

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Peter singleton's french adventure

The gallery opened on sunday. It was great fun, lots of people came to look. Anne’s  pots and Pete’s paintings look good together. We celebrated late into the night sitting in the square with a couple of lads from England who are cycling to Provence from the UK for charity.  We supplied them with phone charges,  cold water, wine and directions to the Canal du Midi and they supplied us with hilarious anecdotes of their travels and good company throughout the evening.

Then came the heat! Peter’s out painting sunflowers in the mid-day sun as the thermometer creeps towards 40+. I’m ferrying supplies of deep yellow acrylic, cold beer and frozen strawberries to keep him alive. The neighbour is bringing fresh peaches.

Everyone else is hunkering down at home so it’s not great for business potential but c’est la vie!.   The longer we spend in a hot shop the less we like…

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