I’ve spent the last few months with a new male friend. It’s platonic. And he’s not a Christian. I’m really glad that I’ve stuck to my guns, and my increasingly-honed Christian principles, and not got involved on a physical basis whatsoever. Nada.
I truly see that choosing to be celibate in a great way to bolster your self-esteem and it protects you from people who are potentially harmful.
I did try and envisage myself with this guy in a ‘more than friends’ scenario and I was aware of my own defences and barriers. I decided to give it some time – but it is not going to happen.
From the beginning I have had alarm bells but we have such a nice time when we go out that it’s been hard to refuse his company. However, I’ve realised that while we connect brilliantly mentally, emotionally he is just not ‘there’. It is like the lights are on but no-one’s home.
On the surface he is charming, cultured and very nice. But I can’t talk about anything negative/admit real vulnerability about my feelings or life. It is a false intimacy we have. When I do he ignores it or says something platitudinous. I don’t think he is truly interested in me – more in what I could do for him in ending his loneliness and single state.
There is just this strong feeling in me that all is not right. The question is what to do about it?