Moved to Tears By Church Group’s Present for my Milestone Birthday

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On Sunday, I was driving on the interstate thr...

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was moved to tears – literally – by a present from my church Life Group for my 50th birthday. As was my mum when I told her. Humbled.

The group put together a collage, and framed it, of words and stories about me. They are just amazing words. At the centre of the collage are the words: “We love you XX”. That;s just what I need to hear, every day. These words mean such a lot to me as I sometimes feel like I am a bit of a nothing, especially after being cast aside by my Ex, as his burdensome wife.

I have hung it in front room and will look at it every day, especially when feeling in need of sustenance.

It’s tough being single sometimes especially when you are ill, but at times like this I feel like I was the winner, not him. I would never have met these people if I was still with him.

The Extreme Male Pursuer Is Not Attractive to Women

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Met this guy about three months ago (not a Christian). Had known him two years via Facebook. He is single, age appropriate, cultured, kind, is an only child like me, both parents dead, owns gorgeous house and a waterfall ( a small one!)  and seemed to be chasing me. He doesn't drive and lives miles away. I don't think he has had many girlfriends. Not long-term anyway.

I don’t fancy him at all. AT ALL. I also decided, over the weeks I got to know him that there’s something a bit amiss with him emotionally too. Hard to explain but once you get to know him you see it.

I have honed my powers of discrimination/judgement over the last four years. I used to be an awful judge but now I think I am a good judge of character. Practice makes perfect!

I am not used to being pursued. At first it was pleasant and we have had some nice times out – as friends. I made it abundantly clear that I am not interested in a relationship (not with him, anyway!) and even that I am celibate by choice.

But he kept pressing for us to meet up. No opportunity went by when he did not talk of us meeting again at my place, going out to theatre, blah-de-blah, all under the guise of friendship. But it did not feel like that. I began to feel a bit… hunted. I think I felt sorry for him and that made me overlook a few comments. I also felt very strongly that he molded his opinions to fit with mine. What woman wants that, in a friend or a partner? He even echoed the words of my friend, A, to make them sound like his own ideas. Creepy.

I did not necessarily want to lose his friendship ‘cos he is good company and seeing him  from time to time has been pleasant but it all came to a head this week. One text too much. I just had to tell him to give me “some space”. IOW, stop pestering me!

What a pain! And what a disappointment. But the Extreme Male Pursuer, as Dr Bonnie calls this kind of man, is an anathema to most woman.

I could not respect him cos he doesn’t respect himself.

Romantic Pursuer or Creepy Stalker?

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Unlocking Femininity

romanticpursuercreepystalkerHe saw her across the Student Center at Freshmen Orientation. Long dark hair, rich laugh and quick smile – he was smitten. She stood out from all the other freshmen girls and he simply had to get to know her. In the following months, he became friends with her friends, spent time with her in groups and after two months finally worked up the courage to ask her out. She said no. He backed off, but never gave up. He showed up at her dance recitals, brought flowers to every performance, started attending her church, and ate lunch near her as often as he could. Then, one long, lonely summer when all of their mutual friends were out of town, the smitten boy and uninterested girl fell in love.  Two years later, she said ‘I do,’ making him feel like the luckiest man alive.*

He first saw her at church.

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