Coming to the end of the 13 week Chained No More course. It’s been great. But tough at times. The day after each session I am totally whacked. Even though there are no tears shed in the group the sessions use a lot of emotional and mental energy.
I know I need to forgive my former caretakers. One in particular. But I am finding it hard and almost impossible. I don’t know what’s wrong with this person. Maybe I am diagnosing their crap behaviour into some sort of pathology. Maybe they were just a bit rubbish at caretaking. I suspect narcissism. Possibly lacking in the empathy chip. I remember when my STBX was going through a terrible ordeal this caretaker astounded him, his mum and me with the way they turned the situation into being all about them. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past. My excuse is that I did not have the best examples when I was growing up.
Don’t know how I am going to forgive because I do attribute at least some of the development of my health problems to the caretakers’ neglect when I was a small child. I’ve no proof, but it seems likely.