I was annoyed that I misplaced my 2011 diary when I needed, recently, to check out some facts, time-wise. I have just found it. What a shock I got when I saw how much time my STBX and I were spending together despite being ‘separated’ during that year. We weren’t a couple but we were still enmeshed. Seeing things in black and white reveals how our memories can play tricks on us. It’s important to have the facts; they help us to better understand our emotions in the here and now.
They say that it takes approximately one year for every five years you were together to recover from separation/divorce. That seems about right to me.
I text all my beloved single friends today to wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day and to tell the that they are cherished. I heard back from all of them – except three men – one who is quite shy, one who is scared of single women and one who is gay! All the women – most of them Christians – responded in a flash and seemed to really appreciate the thought. Two nice men responded – one Christian, one not, and saw the gesture as it was meant to be seen – as friendly rather than flirty. Not that flirtation is a bad thing. Depends how it is done and to what purpose.
After around 1 1/2 years of avoiding gigs I have been to two recently. It felt very strange to be out in a music venue after such a long break.
The break has come about due to: health-related issues, my step-father‘s death and other personal stuff. During this time I haven’t wanted to do anything socially outside of my church. My church is full of lively people, as you know, dear reader, and there is a great deal of laughter there and I have met some of the best people there that I’ve ever known. But the church is not in my town and my friends who go there live up to 10 – 20 miles away.
It was through talking to my friend, G, that through concentrating on my church life I’ve begun to feel socially isolated in my neighbourhood. One day I will be moving from my current house but until I do it makes sense to not totally give up on my city. This means juggling and resting and not letting adrenaline rule my life. I need to avoid the boom and bust cycle. However, too little stimulation, too much care of the health and being sensible can lead to depression.
A tricky balance, but it needs to be tackled.