The Man Situation – Hot or Not


Struggles with The Man Situation, or lack thereof, continue. Cloud’s book, Get a Date Worth Keeping, has revealed some of my ambivalence about putting myself out there forcefully. The Manless Situation hurts though. Post-marital break-up I am back in the position I was in as a teen. This situation looks like this:

Guys Various: “Yeah, PrayerWalker is really hot! She’s exotic! Wow! I wouldn’t mind a piece of that. But go out with her, like, as a girlfriend? On proper dates? Erm, no, wouldn’t do that.”

Guys Various 2: “PrayerWalker is such a great mate. Yeah, she’s terrific. Such a good, good  friend. What, ask her out? On a date? Oh no, I wouldn’t do that. I tell you who I DO like though, XX… I’m thinking of asking her out on a date!”

That’s my man life! 

There have been three men in my fairly long life who have treated me like a real woman/proper lady. P, my first boyfriend, when I was 15 going on 16. I met him at a club (he was 19) and he simply asked me to dance. He treated me like a girlfriend – not a mate, or someone he just wanted to get physical with – from the start. He was lovely. I ended it as we did not have enough in common.

Then, when I was 18 I met N. N thought I was great company, hot AND the one for him. We got together quickly and the relationship lasted quite some time. I ended it after a year and a half as I felt too young to get married (he mentioned marriage). 

Then there was my husband. He seemed to want the whole package: physically, mentally, emotionally, and I guess, at that time, spiritually (though neither of us was religious). We were together for well over two decades. He ended it. 

Since then I’ve had lots of guy interest but only of the ‘She’s hot’ (mostly outside of the church) or ‘She’s a great mate’ variety (mostly within the church). You can guarantee that if I even have the most fleeting thought that someone looks nice/interesting and just happens to be single – the next day they are suddenly ‘in a relationship’ –  with someone else!