Tomorrow, 25th October, will be my 20th wedding anniversary. Married, technically, for 20 years, we would have been together 26 years but in reality have been separated for over three years.
Most of the time now I really, really want to be divorced. We are taking steps to make that happen. But still there is that feeling of shedding a skin, like a snake. I’ve been through some hideous stuff in my life but marital breakdown has been the toughest, possibly even worse than my 24-year-illness. Even STBX (soon-to-be-ex) said it was worse than the deaths of close family members he has suffered.
Think STBX is planning on remarrying. Divorce Group statistics say that 95% of us will remarry although 66% of second marriages fail.
I would like to think that I could remarry at some point but I am also prepared to remain single. Or there might be something in between those two states. Not sure what. I’m still working out what I want and what might be possible.
I have not been in a significant relationship since we parted, but some of the men I met on the dating scene keep in touch with me. Nice but not suitable.
A friend’s mother never remarried when her husband left. She is religious and believed that in God’s eyes she was still married to her husband despite the divorce. I used to think that was sad but I can see how she might feel. I don’t feel that way myself, and fortunately, my church is supportive of second marriages.
But for now, I am working on being SUW – Single, Unique and Whole.