Circle of Friends

Texting on a qwerty keypad phone

Texting on a qwerty keypad phone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

>Another of my very good friends, P, called me today having read my Tears on My Pillow posting. Great to hear from him. And one of the Life Group guys text me a heartfelt message too and people at church were very kind (those that know about my tears!)Had a chat with R who also has a long-term illness, though a different one from mine. Like my friend, A, she totally gets it. It’s the sheer longevity of invisible chronic illness that gets to you. It affects every sphere of your life: finances, work capacity, social life, exercise, joy, relationships, marriage… Tough call.

Like, for example, ex and I did not have kids. We could have done but neither of us was, at that time, over-bothered. Having the ICI made it less of an option. People DO choose to have kids while suffering from this illness but they are the ones who really, really wanted them. We were ambivalent. But maybe if I had not been ill I would have been more enthusiastic. I will never know.

The challenge of ICI is not just the pain but the sorrow for the life not lived.