A male friend from the divorce group is keen on the practice of celibacy, especially as one ‘regroups’ after the demise of a significant relationship/marriage. It can be a a great relief to make a conscious decision to be celibate.
Once you have said, ‘that’s the path for me until….’ (whatever your boundaries/conditions are) it is incredibly freeing. You can talk to those of the opposite sex without wondering if you are a) leading them on, b) expected to ‘perform’ in some way, c) ‘giving’ yourself away. It also means you can devote your energies to other things in life.
Don’t get me wrong: the sensual world is not to be decried. The power of touch is incredible. It makes us feel accepted, beloved, takes us ‘out’ of ourselves and teaches us about giving, receiving, etc. Even between marrieds it does not always have to be loving, a semi-religious, transcendent experience. Sometimes it is ‘sex’. And that’s okay as long as you both want that.
There are so many faces of celibacy though, aren’t here? Virginal celibacy. Enforced celibacy within marriages. Renewal through celibacy after a relationship breakdown or time on what people coyly call the ‘party scene’.
Maybe I should get some books about the subject.