Boundaries and the Single Pastor


Boundary (Photo credit: ank0ku)

Of the three pastors at our church, two are married and one is single.

For the Single Pastor I bet there are occasionally tricky times regarding women in the congregation. He has to maintain an appropriate distance from them. He is in a position of power, in that he is a ‘leader’. His sermons are powerful so it might be easy for someone to think that the pastor is talking to them specifically. It can feel like this with any of the sermons, of course, but this is not the case. All sermons are generalised when you really listen to them. But if you are susceptible or vulnerable it might be easy to project feelings onto any of the pastors, but especially a single one.

With this in mind I am very self-conscious when communicating with Single Pastor ‘cos I harbour a horror of being seen as some sort of vampiric woman of a certain age just itching to sink my teeth into a single man. I tend to communicate with Single Pastor wholly by electronic means, and even them I’m wary!

It’s shame, though, ‘cos I suspect (though don’t really know) I have things in common with  Single Pastor. I’ll hug the married pastors with gusto (usually in full view of their wives) but with the Single Pastor – I have to keep that boundary there.

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