Disconnected or ‘Disjointed’

Standard

Feeling torn in two directions. Talked about this with a church friend  tonight. She made the move  to Church Town last year and she hasn’t looked back.

I have long had a desire to live in Church Town. I decided to see if the urge would pass – maybe it was just a whim – but I now think it is where I want to be, need to be, in fact. But affording a place there is a problem. The friend did offer me a room in her house as a way to transition. Worth bearing in mind, though I would need to buy a place really. I am sure there will be a way to get here somehow.

Connecting Rod

Connecting Rod (Photo credit: Daniel Y. Go)

Where I live now is great and I have great neighbours. It’s a desirable area. But it will have to be sold at some point and it is too wrapped up with memories of my STBX – soon-to-be-ex. And others in the area are moving on…

I sometimes think I will never get over this separation. (Even if it was necessary). That, coupled with the loss of my stepdad has been too much (plus other things that have been going on).  Despite the fact that I have so many people in my life – many more than when I was married – I do feel a central core of loneliness in me. This I have felt only since August 2012. I think this loneliness is trying to tell me something!

Maybe I’ll let yo know what it is – when I find out!

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements